Bobs Poo Coaches Eastern Illinois

And other mundane facts about Eastern Illinois.

As this game week progresses, I realized a couple of things. I couldn’t match up the statistics between Penn State and EIU (E-I-E-I-U!) because the latter doesn’t play in the same division we do. Some would argue that these statistical match-ups are worthless anyway, but it is even more worthless if the divisions are completely different.

So as I debated about what to blog about, I realized another important thing . . . I don’t know jack about E-I-E-I-U.

From Wikipedia:

The first building was finished in 1899 and is called Old Main.

The bastards! They stole Old Main from us!

Their colors are blue and gray.

A thinly veiled attempt to make us think they didn’t also steal our colors. They probably started out blue and white, but they don’t have any Tide with bleach in Charleston, Illinois. Good gravy, they stole Charleston, West Virginia’s town name too! And from South Carolina! Unoriginal hicks!

Their mascot is the panther.

They stole that from someone. Couldn’t be Carolina, since the expansion team wasn’t around in 1899.

The Booth Library is named after Mary Josephine Booth–a librarian. Of course, Penn State named the library after it’s football coach. If E-I-E-I-U did that, it would be called Bobs Poo Bob Spoo.

Miss Booth (can’t understand how this hottie didn’t get hitched):

. . . was widely known to librarians of her time from her 1914 publication “Material on Geography Which May Be Obtained Free or at Small Cost.”

So she was cheap frugal.

Notable Alumni include:

Tony Romo, Dallas Cowboy QB

Mike Shanahan, former Denver Head Coach

Newton Tarble, one of the founders of SnapOn Tools

And two actors who did not graduate, yet are listed as alumni:

John Malkovich

Jerry Van Dyke (Luther Van Dam of Coach)

I’d rather be coached by Luther Van Dam than Bobs Poo.

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