Category Archives: Humor

It’s Just a Flesh Wound!

fleshwound

“I can still play!”        “You’ve got no arms!”         “It’s just a flesh wound!”

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Filed under Humor, Penn State, Uncategorized

Tomczak Flak: Mis-leading Man

I went to a Johnstown Tomahawks hockey game Saturday night.  As a promotional feature, they brought back former Pittsburgh Steeler Mike Tomczak to sign autographs.  I guess Bubby Brister was too busy and Kordell Stewart wouldn’t return their calls.

I don’t want to rain on Mike Tomczak’s parade, but he is not on any list of Pittsburgh “greats” that I could find.

Yet, here is the publicity photo that you could get autographed.  (Notice I didn’t get mine signed.  I was afraid it might diminish it’s value.  No.  I really just didn’t give a care.)

miketomczak

Wait?!  What?

Super Bowl XX???  That is not one of the Super Bowls that Pittsburgh played in.  Isn’t that kind of misleading?  QUARTERBACK | SUPER BOWL XX CHAMPION.  All while wearing the black and gold beneath the STEELERS logo.

On further review, Super Bowl XX was played in 1986 between the Chicago Bears and the New England Patriots.  Da Bears won 46-10 and Mike Tomczak was on that team.  He has a Super Bowl ring for that.  But according to Wikipedia,

He started no games his first year but did earn a Super Bowl ring, and saw playing time in Super Bowl XX on January 26, 1986, during the fourth quarter of the Bears’ 46–10 win over the New England Patriots on the kickoff unit, where he was penalized for a facemask penalty.[3] He was a member of the “Shuffling Crew” in the Bears’ video for The Super Bowl Shuffle, mimicking playing guitar.

That would kinda be like me claiming I had an injury playing football at Penn State (which would technically be true if I was playing catch during a tailgate party and sprained my knee.)

And why didn’t they include his guitar playing shuffle on the promo?  The Super Bowl Shuffle was nominated for a Grammy!

miketomczak2

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Sunday Sermon: Get Behind Me, Saban

And it was written,

And the old miss answered, “Get thee behind me, Saban, for it is said, ‘only Rebel not ye against the Lord.'”

–Luke 4:8 and Numbers 14:9

Oh, how the mighty hath fallen!

Look at this place!  Not an empty pew to be seen!  I have never seen so many repenters at one time!

So many denominations in one place!  Baptists, Episcopalians, Ducks, Aggies, Huskers, Sooners, and Elephants alike!

Come now and here the word!

And the magicians did so with their enchantments, and brought up horned frogs upon the land of Oklahoma.

–Exodus 8:7

Repent!

And the Spartans laded their asses with the corn, and departed thence.

–Genesis 42:26

Repent!

And upon the golden altar they shall spread a cloth of purple, and cover it with a covering of badgers’ skins, and shall put to the staves thereof.

–Numbers 4:11

Repent!

As we look down the list of those anointed teams, we see much suffering and gnashing of teeth.

#1 F$U managed to avoid the upset omen, beating the Demon Deacons 43-3.  Ironic isn’t it?  Demon Deacons.  In this church???

#2 Oregon got upsot by Arizona 31-24 on Thursday night, a premonition of pain to come.

#3 Alabama got spanked by the Ole Miss, losing 23-17.

Not to be outdone, #4 Oklahoma lost to TCU 37-33.

#5 Auburn prevailed over #15 LSU.

#6 Texas A and M was beaten by #12 Mississippi State.  Lot’s of rejoicing in that state today!

#7 Baylor took care of Texas 28-7.

# 8 UCLA lost to Utah 30-28.

#9 Notre Dame used some Irish luck to overcome the #14 Stanford Cardinal 17-14.

#10 MSU outlasted #19 Nebraska 27-22.

Fifty percent of the Top 10 teams lost yesterday.

#16 USC went down to Arizona State 38-34.  Arizona is another state rejoicing today!

#17 Wisconsin fell to the Northwestern Wildcats 20-14.

#18 BYU fell to Utah State on Friday night.  Still no one paid attention to the signs!

All told, ELEVEN top-25 ranked teams choked yesterday, with the five of those ranked in the Top 8.

What can we learn from this?

Pride goeth before destruction?  (Proverbs 16:18)

The people ranking these teams don’t really know what they are doing?

It’s a really good thing Penn State didn’t play this weekend?

It ain’t over till you actually play the games?

And we will part with the wisdom and “been a dick shun” of ESPN’s premier prognosticator, Mark (Dis)May:

GO STATE!  BEAT THEM!

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Filed under football, Humor, NCAA

Definition of Pitt Football

From Sports Illustrated’s Campus Union . . . 100 Things We’re most Excited for in the 2014 Season . . .

82. Pittsburgh’s attempt to enter ACC contention There are certain college football teams that exude confidence, precision and ferocity. Oregon is a screaming attack fighter. Alabama is a fearsome, unyielding tank. Pitt, on the other hand? Pitt is an overweight mail clerk rolling backwards down a hill in an office chair. Wide receiver Tyler Boyd is pretty good, though.

Pitt Football . . . Are you ready to RUMBLE?

Pitt Football . . . Are you ready to RUMBLE?

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Lions of the Pennsylvanian

LJleaving

ReleaseTheFranklin

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*SIGH*

Adapted from THE BORN LOSER . . .

ExceptPSU

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Filed under Humor, Penn State

May I Have This Dance?

What day is it?

Come on Mike, I know you can hear me!

A little Hump Day Humor . . . from the Florida Gators, who lost to Georgia Southern this past weekend.

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