Tag Archives: Humor

Well That Suck-eyed

Once again, the game is a distant memory and another game is coming up, and I still have not reported in.  Shame on me!

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

A small part of me feared that Ohio State really was a top ranked team and would dispatch us like an annoying insect, easily covering the almost 20 point spread and then some.  They did not blow us out of the water.  That’s good.  I’m particularly proud that we hung in there and fought to the bitter end and were actually within 4 points of the upset of the year going into the fourth quarter.  WITH OUR BACK-UP QUARTERBACK!

But . . . there was also a part of me that thought perhaps the Buckeye$ were a bit over-rated, hadn’t played anyone as good as us, and we were going to manage to pull out a win somehow.  We did not.  That’s bad.  Too bad.

The Ugly?  Despite still being ranked 10th in the College Football Playoff rankings, there is almost no mathematical probability of the Lions actually getting to play in that play-off.  Is next year our year?  I always hate that kind of logic/hope.  I’d rather play now.  Too much can happen between now and then.  We had a chance THIS year, but couldn’t make the plays when we needed to make them.  Well, there’s always next year!

Could we hold our own against Clemson, Alabama, Georgia, or Oklahoma????  We didn’t do a bad job against the Buckeye$.  Consider this:  Ohio $tate was defeating teams by an average margin of victory of 41.7 points!  They beat us by 11.  In all their previous games, the closest margin of victory was against MSU–24 points.  We are the closest that Ohio $tate has come to losing all season.  WITH OUR BACK-UP QUARTERBACK!

And let’s face it.  They are as advertised.  Scary good at just about every position.   (The best team money can buy LOL! )


Make no mistake of it.  There are precious few stats that favored the Nittany Lions.  One in particular, though, kind of surprised me.  Although he had 25 more carries than Journey Brown, J.K. Dobbins only averaged 4.4 yards per carry, while Brown averaged 5.8.  Maybe we should have tried to run more?


Is there a luckier man on this planet than Ryan Day?  Urban Meyer retires amidst turmoil and this guy picks up a team that is almost incapable of losing.  I will be surprised if he doesn’t go undefeated in his first season as head coach.  Hell, I could probably be undefeated right now if I were the head coach of that team!


Yea.  Whatever.  We’re not in it.  Ohio State will probably win it.  Move along.


So we have a season where we are now waiting to see how good a bowl game we can get, but there is still one game left to play.


I’m sorry, but this isn’t worth my time.  Rutgers sucks.  Birthplace of BAD football.



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Don’t Gopher That!


Why so silent, good Messieurs?
Did you think that I had left you for good?
Have you missed me, good Messieurs?
I have written you a recap

Here I bring the finished blog
*GOPHER Triumphant*!
I advise you to read on
My instructions should be clear
Remember there are worse things than a shattered perfect year!

My apologies to Gaston Leroux and Andrew Lloyd Webber.

Though I may have disappeared as quickly as the Phantom of the Opera, I did not actually disappear.  And it had nothing to do with a devastating loss to the Golden Gophers of Minnesota.  After watching the Lions throw away a possible undefeated season and play-off invitation with a miserably lackluster performance in Minnesota that angered this Phantom to no end, I did what any cold, shivering MVB (most valuable blogger) north of the Mason-Dixon line would do . . .  I went to Disney world!

But here’s a few thoughts I started to type before time ran out and I had to head to Florida . . .

After climbing into the playoff picture for the first time ever, Penn State threw away its best chance to actually play in said playoff picture in a flurry of interceptions, bad breaks and questionable coaching decisions.

Going for two early in the game?  It really didn’t make a difference in the final score–we would still have been down by four and forced to go for a touchdown anyway, but . . . a conversion there would have put us in the position of kicking a field goal to tie the game.  Woulda . . .

We can debate kicking the field goal versus going for it on fourth down all we want–and second guessing is never perfect as we could miss the field goal, they could run the ensuing kick off back, etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum, BUT . . . an extra point and a field goal on the scoreboard going into our final drive meant we would only need a field goal to WIN.  Coulda . . .

Coulda, shoulda, woulda.

Like it or not, this is who WE ARE  right now.  A team that recruits well, plays well most of the time, but somehow manages to lose a game (or two) along the way that it should have, could have, would have won.

Sorry Mini-soda.  You’ve got a good team there, but I wouldn’t cancel your ice fishing trip because you might be in the playoffs.  We didn’t play like the better team, but we are.  Whatever.  (I actually wrote this before the Gophers went on to flop against Iowa, but I really believe it.  I am amazed at the number of people writing the best team won.  No.  The best team shot itself in the foot and mucked around for sixty minutes and came up short instead of taking care of business.  Minnesota is not the best team, and if there could be a rematch I believe we would win.  I’d be willing to bet the house on it.  Not my house.  But somebody else’s house of course.)


Maybe USC and Florida State will go after PJ Fleck (aka Pajama Spot) instead of Franklin!  Although I haven’t checked the message boards since the loss, I imagine there is a vocal outcry to oust him!

With that gold tie, Fleck reminded me of Goldmember for some reason.


And since writing that drivel, Penn State has gone on to beat the Hoosiers 34-27 in another nail-biter which shouldn’t have been that close, but again–whatever.  I’m not going to belabor that victory with a recap, since I didn’t see the game (I was drinking in EPCOT!) We got the win and onward to the Buckeyes!

Am I the only PSU fan that thinks we have a chance in Columbus????

It’s probably the alcohol talking!

I’m smelling upset!  (It might be my stomach.) I look at myself in the mirror and I see… RutgersAl!  But I think we upset the Bucks in their house.  Bet the house on it.  Not your house.  Somebody else’s house!  (wink!)


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Hawkeye Game is Foul Play

Penn State traveled to Iowa (and even though traveling is a basketball foul, I’m surprised the Big Ten refs didn’t throw a flag for that too) and came back with a 17-12 victory that wasn’t really that close.


But Iowa is a quality opponent, unlike Penn State’s schedule so far.  (The jury is still out on Pitt.)  All week long, Penn State fans had to listen to how hard it is to win at Kinnick Stadium in Iowa.  Everything from the infamous pink locker room to the kids in the children’s hospital waving at the fans in the stadium to the stripe out.  James Franklin has never beaten a ranked opponent on the road in the regular season.  0-11.  And it was a full moon.

But the scariest part of the game came down to the referees once again.  Yes.  I am going there.  I’m heading there as fast as I can, speed limit be damned.  And I am going there after we won.  Usually whining about the referees is wine served up in defeat, made from the sourest grapes you can find.

But when the replay officials failed to uphold or let stand the Friermuth touchdown, followed by two holding calls (and let’s pause for a minute to say that there are plenty of holding calls in every football game that don’t get called) that set Penn State so far back from the goal line they ended up settling for a field goal in a game that was just 10-6  at that point.  14-6 would have been crushing for an Iowa offense that hadn’t scored a touchdown since practically the last full moon.

And how can a quarterback fumble the snap, have the ball roll backward, and still get positive yardage for a first down?

And don’t even get me started on the phantom pass interference penalty that brought back memories of the one called on Scirotto that ultimately gave Iowa the chance to kick a field goal and blemish what turned out to be Paterno’s last best chance at another regular undefeated season in 2008.

The difference:  this team was able to persevere and still win, despite what seemed like a concerted effort to keep Iowa in the game and give them a chance at the upset.



Shout outs:

To Blake Gillikin:  In a close defensive game like this, you cannot say enough about a punter that continually pinned the Hawks deep in their own territory.

To Noah Caine: If I were the coach, this kid would get 25 carries a game or more.  The ability to rush for first downs late in the game and run out the clock is invaluable.  How many games would have been won if Penn State had just been able to make a first down in the waning moments of a big game?

To Robert Windsor:  Great game defensively.  Six tackles, couple QB hurries, and 2.5 tackles for losses.

Call Outs:

Big Ten Refs.  Jesus, do you guys know the whole TV audience is watching your screw job?  I haven’t seen such a pathetic attempt to change the outcome of a game since Witovet retired.  Here’s a tip . . . if takes more than TWO minutes and you have to use an electron microscope to see blades of grass underneath a knee, then it is TOO CLOSE TO OVERTURN.  You want to get it right–I understand that.  But you got it wrong.  Nice try!  You’ll get a participation trophy after the game.


Kudos to the Penn State staff and team for maintaining composure and focus and still getting the job done.


While Iowa managed to out gain the Lions in total yardage, Penn State led the crucial total yards on the ground, holding the Hawks to just 70 rushing yards.  Thanks to the running game, Penn State also managed to win time of possession.

And Iowa won the penalty battle.  Imagine that!


James Franklin wins his first game on the road against a ranked opponent.

Penn State secured the #7 spot on both polls.

Penn State leads the all-time series 16-12 with a current streak of 6 wins.



Wisconsin blanked the Spartans 38-0 while Michigan topped the Illini 42-25.  But that game was 28-25 with just over 12 minutes left in the fourth quarter.

Indiana beat Rutgers 35-0.  Who hasn’t beaten Rutgers?

Purdue rebounded with a big win over the Terrapins, 40-14.

The Gophers throttled the Huskers, 34-7.


In Georgia . . . the Bulldogs stunk it up between the hedges badly enough for South Carolina to get the upset in double OT, 20-17.  What I don’t understand is how Georgia is perennially ranked in the top 10, often top 5, in recruiting classes, yet they never seem to be able to transform that talent into wins.  Sporting News ranked schools recruiting classes for the last 10 years, and while Alabama and Ohio State were #1 and #2, Georgia was #4.  Now college recruiting is far from a science, and any given class may or may not pan out.  But how can they be right most of the time with the Buckeyes and the Tide, but not the Bulldogs?  Methinks Georgia has some way of not developing that talent.  BTW, Michigan is Ninth on that list.

In Louisiana . . . LSU beat the Gators 42-28.



The-M.  The Big Block M.  They are all that and a bag of chips.  Too sexy for their helmets.


Michigan Fans ARE special.

The Wolverines are 5-1 and ranked #16 in both polls.


They almost lost to Army, but granted Army is a good football team–not great–but solid.  Wisconsin pretty much Michigan-Man-handled the wolverines at Camp Randall.  In common opponents, THEM held Iowa to 3.  We held them to 6, with the refs adding another 6.  We had Iowa on the road at night.  They beat the Hawkeyes at the Big House.  Adjust for the home field advantages (3 points). . . carry the one . . .  they matched up +4 on a neutral field and we would have a margin of 8.  This ain’t common core math.  We will beat THEM.


Harbaugh:  “You keep those khakis packed, James Franklin!”

And if this wasn’t exciting enough already, College GameDay is coming to Happy Valley next week!  Get your Big Ten Ref signs ready!!!


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The Fast and the Victorious

I toyed with titling this episode, The Fast and the Inglorius, but in the end, we were victorious 35-7.

But 28 of those points were scored quickly in just the first 16 minutes of play.  FAST.

Not until Noah Cain (did they say NO GAIN?  NOVACAINE?) ran for two yards with 5:44 left on the clock in the fourth did the Lions add another point to their explosive start.  Is the further lack of stomping on Purdue inglorious?  Who knows?

What happened between then and there?

I think one factor was the interception thrown by Clifford in the second period.  From that point on, it seemed like things changed.  My friend pointed out that we didn’t throw any more crossing routes over the middle like we did last week versus Maryland, and in the early scoring frenzy of this rout.  It was as if Joe Paterno took over the play calling from Ricky Rahne and we went into a prevent offense mode.  Well, maybe not that bad, but the whole feng shui of the offense changed from that point, and not for the better.

Another factor could be the weather.  The wind seemed to be swirling a bit and gusty at times.  I sit in the North End Zone, and the only score in that end zone was a short drive when the Lions failed to finish things up at the end of the first quarter at the other end of the field.  Even our field goal attempt that was missed happened at the North end.

Now it seemed to me as if the wind was blowing into the North End zone (into my face), and traditional football logic is that favors passing teams to play with the wind, but neither team seemed to move the ball northward very well.  Most of the game seemed to be played on the other side of the fifty.

Whatever fire was lit in the first quarter, died in the second, and Noah Cain’s 27 yard-bust up the gut that set up his 2 yard TD run late in the fourth was but a glowing spark from the dying fire.

No matter which half of the game you over-analyze the offense, the defense played another suffocating game against a mid-lower tier Big Ten opponent, playing without their starting QB and wide receiver.

Iowa next week will be our biggest test to date (although Pitt somehow managed to survive a Duke comeback and still win) and I am looking forward to seeing how we handle the Hawkeyes who were only able to put up 3 points in the Big House.

In a way, I’m happy we didn’t continue to roll over Purdue 56-0.  Our kicking miscues (missed FG and kick out of bounds) demonstrate some areas to work on.  Punting returns are still adventurous, but mostly because teams won’t chance kicking directly to KJ.  And our offense needs to continue working on some consistency.


Another week of pick a number, any number, and it probably favors Penn State.


Purdue managed only 104 total yards and that includes -19 yards rushing.  MINUS 19.

Penn State won time of possession 33:38 to 26:22.  Still probably means nothing.

Purdue converted just one of 15 third down attempts, and 0-1 fourth down attempts.


The official attendance was 106,536.

Penn State is 72-23-5 in Homecoming games.


Penn State leads the series over the Boilermakers 15-3-1.

The Drum Major stuck both flips.  The Alumni Band performed with their usual indomitable spirit.

Tommy Stevens was among the Alumni who returned to Happy Valley.

Penn State moved up 2 pots on both polls (AP/Coaches) to 10/9 respectively.


The Buckeyes avoided a third straight loss to the Spartans, but were rattled a little bit early on.  They get some separation late in the second quarter,taking a 27-10 lead into the half.  The final score was 34-10 with only 7 points coming in the second half.  Didn’t we just read a bout another team that did the same?  At home?  Weird, huh?

At the Big House, THEM scored just three points off four turn-overs, but still won 10-3 over the Hawkeyes in Ann Arbor.

Wisconsin shut out Kent State, winning 48-0.

Maryland rebounded against Rutgers 48-7.  Not a good start for the Scarlet Knights interim head coach Nunzio Campanile.

Minnesota blasted the Illini 40-17.

And Nebraska kicked a FG as time expired to beat Northwestern 13-10.


In Durham . . . Pitt squandered a 26-3 lead and found themselves behind 30-26 with 1:29 left in the game.  But those pesky panthers weren’t done.  Pitt scored with 38 seconds still remaining to upset the Duke Blue Devils 33-30.

In South Bend . . . Notre Dame cruised past Bowling Green 52-0.  Ian Book threw for 5 touchdowns.  Is he any relation to Mac Book?  Does he use a Surface too?

In the Swamp . . . 10 Florida defeated #7 Auburn 24-13.

And in Cincinnati . . . the Bearcats hand the previously ranked UCF Knights their second loss, 27-24.


The Lions head to Iowa for a prime time game with the Hawkeyes.



So with no common opponents, what can we say?

I think the key to this game is whether or not we can score against the Hawkeye defense, and avoid costly turn-overs (don’t pay more than $1.50 for the apple ones!)  Iowa is generally well coached.  Their atmosphere will be electric.  The sick kids in the hospital over looking the stadium will be rooting for Iowa.  But I really think our defense will keep the Hawkeyes off the board for the most part.  In teams with a pulse, Iowa scored 18 versus Iowa State and 3 against the wolverines.  I don’t see them scoring 18 against us, but they have not allowed more than 17 points to anyone yet.  I think that will change, but I have less confidence in our offense than our D at this point in the season,and I think it is generally more difficult for offenses on the road than defenses.

I saw one line with Penn State as a 3.5 point favorite.




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When They Bring the Black, We Bring the White

As a fan that tends to stay until the last second ticks off the clock, I am rather amazed at the number of times we go on the road to play teams, and by the end of the game, our fans take over the opponent’s stadium, outnumbering their fans.  Perhaps this has happened in Beaver Stadium at some point in time, but no game that I can remember.

I saw where one sportswriter guesstimated the number of PSU fans in the stadium at about a third.  By the fourth quarter, that percentage was probably closer to 90%. IT’s hard to be sure.  A Black Out at night looks like night.


But we didn’t just dominate the stadium.  We dominated the game.  We were the game.

My friend who has followed Penn State football for years made the comment that the first half of the Maryland game was the best offensive half of football in the James Franklin era.  And while the offense was certainly clicking on all cylinders, the defense played a huge role as well, keeping the Terrapins off the scoreboard the entire game.

The Lions first score, an 8 yard scamper into the end zone by Clifford, was set up by a Jan Johnson interception and a couple of Maryland penalties on the play.  The Lions never looked back. They went on to pile up 619 yards of offense and 59 points, while the stingy Lion defense allowed Maryland only 60 rushing yards.

Clifford did throw a pick, but quite frankly it was a phenomenal defensive play that survived a review as well.  Maryland couldn’t capitalize on the turn-over, looking even worse than the Steelers who managed to lose a game after recovering 5 turn-overs!

Micah Parsons was ejected for an ill-advised hit on the Maryland QB–wasn’t helmet to helmet but he launched himself like a Saturn V rocket.  It happened in the first quarter, so he won’t miss time next week.  The defense played as if he were still there.  Hopefully he will learn from the mistake and be better for it moving forward.

I had no problem leaving Champs (in Altoona) at the end of the game, but finding a parking space at 7:30 just before kick-off was a quest worthy of Shrek and Donkey.  Alas, I only had my ass with me and ended up at Cracker Barrel, where they not only wouldn’t serve me alcohol with a valid ID, but they had no television to watch the game!

But, if Penn State were in charge of the Champs parking, I’d have been diverted through Duncansville, into Hollidaysburg, down Convention Center Boulevard, and required to park at Wal-Mart, from whence I would be bused to Champs.  The bus would have to get on I-99 and get off at 17th Street, and travel the entire way up Pleasant Valley Boulevard and Plank Road, stopping at every traffic light.  Twice. It really was quicker to walk from Cracker Barrel.  But I digress.

DISH dropped Fox-Sports, FS1/FS2 and the Big Ten, leaving many fans without coverage for the game.  I’m pretty sure this is part of the new parking and traffic flow (or lack thereof) plan implemented by Penn State.  Just kidding.  Sort of.


Pick a number, any number.  It probably favors Penn State.

619 offensive yards to 128 for the Terps.  Wow.  Just wow.  Where did this come from?


She can’t believe it either!  And that was early in the game!

30 first downs for PSU to 10 for UMD.

Maryland had ONE kick off.  That’s just funny right there.

We won time of possession by 7 minutes, gave up NO sacks, and went an amazing 9 for 13 on third down conversions (up till now we were one of the worst in Division 1 football in 3rd down conversion rates!)

Okay, okay.  Maryland had more penalties and more turn-overs than PSU, so they have something to hang their helmets on there.


University Park beat College Park in the Parks & Recreation League.

Trace McSorley was in the house, rooting the Nittany Lions on.

The salt and pepper crowd was 53,228, the fewest to watch PSU in person so far this year.  Of course, it was our first away game and the Big Ten Opener for both teams.

Penn State DOMINATES this series 40-2-1.  But even more impressive are the last four games, where PSU has won 38-14, 66-3, 38-3, and 59-0.  That’s a total score of 201-20, and Maryland has not scored a touchdown in the last three games.


For as much as PSU dominated Maryland on the road, so did the Buckeyes and Justin Fields-of Dreams dominate the hapless Cornhuskers in Lincoln.  The final score was 48-7.  We can debate all we want about whether Maryland is better than Nebraska–probably not, but the season is still early–but it definitely looks like there could be a BIG showdown in Columbus late in the season.  November 23rd to be exact.  Lot of football to be played before then, but I’m just throwing this out there now.  Because I can.

The-M manhandled Rutgers 52-0.  That’s like defeating Our Ladies of the Blessed Sacrament, but we’ll throw the wolverines a bone on this one.  Good job not Mucking that one up, Harbaugh.

The Spartans struggled against the Hoosiers, needing a FG on their last offensive play to edge ahead 34-31.  But wait, wasn’t the final score 40-31?  It was.  Those pesky little Hoosiers tried to lateral their way down the field on the ensuing kick-off with 5 seconds remaining on the clock–but fumbled.  MSU scooped and scored to make the score look deceptively less embarrassing.

Iowa defeated the middle of Tennessee 48-3.  I see another BIG showdown on the horizon in Iowa City, again a road game for the Nits.

Da Badgers struggled a bit with Northwestern early on, but got their game going in the right direction (would that be Southeastern then?) to pull away in the fourth and secure a 24-15 win.

Purdue was apparently caught looking ahead to their game at Beaver Stadium next weekend.  The Boilermakers scored 14 points in the fourth but their comeback was not enough, as the Gophers won 38-31 in West Lafayette.


In North Carolina . . . the Tar Heels went for two in a bid to upset #1 Clemson, but came up short, losing 21-20.  What was Mack Brown thinking????  Play for a tie at home, for the win on the road.  Did he forget where he was?  Of course, had it worked–I thought the particular play call was bad anyway, even if you argue they had momentum and might not outlast Clemson’s depth in OT–he would have been a hero.  It was not to be.

In Pittsburgh . . . with a stadium that had as many Pitt fans throughout the game as Maryland had late in the third quarter . . . the mighty Panthers drove 90 yards to beat the Delaware Blue Hens 17-14.  Thank you for not messing up our strength of schedule any further.

In Philadelphia . . . Temple beat Georgia Tech 24-2.


Next week is Homecoming for Penn State.  They will host the Boilermakers in another noon clash.  You might want to set your alarm and head out at 4 am.  I hear they are having some specials at Wal-Mart so traffic on Atherton will be fierce!



Oddsshark has Penn State as an 11 point favorite early on.  That line is now 28 points, with a predicted score of 45-11.

I’m sorry.  But when I think of Purdue, this is what I think of . . .


Or a Boilermaker . . .



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Tuesday Todds & Ends

Where did the weekend go?

Not only is not the weekend anymore, but it’s not even Monday.  I fully planned on recapping the bye week for Penn State–well, not Penn State so much as the rest of the Big Ten–but good Lord, it’s Tuesday already!

And we have a game on FRIDAY!


Holy Crap!


So in case you missed it, Michigan (“THEM”, as in The-M) fell to the Badgers 35-14 and let’s be honest here–it wasn’t even that close.  The Wolverines first score came in the second half after 30 yards in unsportsmanlike penalties and 2 ejections for targeting by the Badgers.  Their trip to Camp Randall was more like a camp counselor’s trip to Camp Crystal Lake.

Meanwhile, the Buckeyes rolled Miami (OH) 76-5.  Yeah, but what could you do against Idaho?  Huh?  Huh?  There was a fumble in the end zone that gave the Redhawks a safety, so they had that going for them.

Indiana crushed UConn 38-3 and it wasn’t in basketball.

The Spartans rebounded with a 31-10 win over Northwestern.  Dantonio’s face remained unchanged.  Is the man even alive?  OK.  He’s a zombie.

The Cornhuskers outlasted the Illini 42-38.

And then there was Rutgers.  The big R managed a brilliant loss to Boston College 31-16.


In Georgia, the Bulldogs beat the Irish in a nail biter, 23-17.

In Pittsburgh, the Panthers upset 15th ranked UCF, and handed the Knights their first regular season loss since November of 2016.

In Buffalo, the Bulls beat Temple 38-22.  See below.


Penn State heads to College Park Maryland for a Friday Night Lights game with the Terrapins.  Is that exciting or what?  I’d go with or what.

My God, our out team isn’t ready to play at noon on a Saturday.  How in the name of Mother Mary and Joseph V.  Paterno are they going to be ready to play on a Friday Night????

The Terps absolutely beat the duck out of Howard, 79-0 in their opening game.  They followed this with an impressive performance over then ranked #21 Syracuse, crushing the Orange 63-20 and taking the AP #21 spot for themselves.  This era of good feelings didn’t last long for the turtles, though, as Temple (the very same Temple that lost to Buffalo) defeated them 20-17 the following week.  No rank for you!

The Lions are at 12/11 on the AP/Coaches polls.  The spread favors the Lions by 7 currently.

Maryland is having a black out this Friday night.  (They forgot to pay the electric bill!)  Think white out only black.  But according to one PSU fan with extra time on his hands this past weekend, we have nothing to fear . . .

Since the tradition began in 2005:

  • The blackout has never featured two ranked teams
  • Maryland is 0-1 playing in the blackout as a ranked team (2008, Loss to FSU 37-3)
  • Maryland is 0-7 playing in the blackout VS a ranked team
  • Maryland is 2-4 when both teams enter the match up outside the AP top 25
  • Maryland is 2-5 in night game blackout games
  • Overall Maryland is just 2-12 in blackout games since the tradition began

What they think they are . . . .


What they really are!


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The Pitt and The (Beaver) Stadium

Edgar Allen Poe wrote a short story, The Pit and the Pendulum, about a man being tortured during the Spanish Inquisition.  No one expects the Inquisition!  The Pitt Panthers were tortured, indeed, inside Beaver Stadium, even wreaking pain upon themselves as well!


The last foreseeable game in the series, and their last hope to BEAT Penn State at football, disappeared in one of the ugliest wins I have ever witnessed at Beaver Stadium.

What in the wide, wide world of effing sports was that?

This was ugly all around.  The traffic was apparently ugly–for some.  The weather was ugly.  It was the first regular season weather delayed game I have ever attended.  I’ll rant on that in a moment.  Betcha just can’t wait!  The Pitt players were”chippy”, as described by the analyst who sits behind me now.  Stepping on KJ Hamler’s leg was just one item submitted as evidence.  The officiating was horrible.  Not seeing it on TV I can’t comment on the reviewed calls, but even the calls on the field were bad–as were the non-calls.  The final score was ugly, but not as ugly as a loss for Penn State would have been.

The coaching was poor on both sides of the ball.  Neither coaching staff appeared to want to win this game.  It was awful on both sides, but perhaps the worst was Narduzzi’s decision to kick a field goal, down 7 late in the game.  What?!? You still have to score a TD to win, bonehead!  There’s a running joke on our bowling team, when a player misses an easy spare–or sometimes jokingly when they miss a difficult split–we ask, “Don’t you want to win?”  Didn’t Narduzzi want to win?

I’m glad he didn’t go for it, for the way the day seemed to be going (the day after Friday the 13th and a FULL MOON) they probably would have scored, gone for two and made it, and completely ruined my weekend.  Thank you, Pat, for not ruining my weekend.

As it was, the goal line stand and subsequent missed field goal left the Lions with a lead of 7 with minutes left in the game.  But with a third and four play and a potential first down winning the game, we heave the ball downfield as if we have to score, and end up punting the ball right back to Narduzzi and his merry bunch of Pittsters. Don’t we want to win?  Somehow we survived.

And speaking of survival, what is with the lightning delay?  First of all, I did not see so much as a twinkle of lightning, nor did I hear even a hint of thunder.  Apparently the NCAA has a STRICT rule which basically says this:

If lightning strikes within 15 miles of a stadium, on-field officials are notified. When a strike happens within 10 miles of the stadium, on-field officials are notified and a public address announcement is made recommending fans to seek shelter. A strike within six miles or less of a stadium prompts players and officials to get off the field and the game is delayed until 30 minutes after the last strike occurs within six miles.

Has anyone ever heard of people being killed or seriously injured by a lightning strike on a stadium?  (Or has anyone ever known anyone to blow themselves up talking on a cell phone while pumping gas?  I’m sorry, that is a rant for another day and another blog.)

I tried to Google this and failed to uncover a report of a single college stadium that has ever been hit by lightning and resulting in death or dismemberment.  I did find one allegation in the African state of Congo where a football team (probably soccer) was struck and killed.

But . . .

FOOTBALL FANS in the central African state of Congo were hurling accusations of witchcraft at each other yesterday after a freak blast of lightning struck dead an entire team on the playing field while their opponents were left completely untouched.

So that’s very scientific right there.

I found a report where a baseball stadium (Cincinnati Reds) was struck during a game–a light tower was hit–but the report failed to mention if anyone was actually hurt by the strike.  I would think if an entire section of fans had been fried, that would have been mentioned.  It was not.  Perhaps I assume too much.

While the stadium has a lot of steel, the seats are aluminum which is not a conductor, and most of it is concrete.  And grounded.

I was already in the stadium when they closed the gates.  I sat in my seat.  I survived.  I did have to use my defibrillator several times, but that was not due to weather, but from James Franklin trying to kill me.


Probably the key stat there is the 24 yards that Pitt managed to rack up on 25 carries.  Again, as we have seen many times before, the time of possession skews heavily in favor of the opposition, but total yardage was pretty close.  As was the final score.

Jordan Stout booted a 57-yarder through the uprights for a field goal to set the new Beaver Stadium record, previously held by Chris Bahr (55 yards, 3 times.)


Penn State won the toss and deferred.

The Blue Band did not perform for pre-game, presumably due to wet weather and the distinct possibility of being struck by Zeus.  I seem to recall from mythology he did not like Sousaphones, but preferred lyres and pan-pipes.

The all-time series is 53-43-4.  I hope we never play them again.

The announced attendance was 108,661.  The stripe-out looked pretty good, even with the rainy weather.


The Buckeyes blasted Indiana 51-10.  The Wolverines and Wisconsin had a bye.  They play each other next week.  How convenient!  Rutgers had a bye week also, but nobody noticed.  I think they might have lost anyway.

Iowa squeaked past Iowa State 18-17.  The Gophers barely beat Georgia Southern (who beat Tennessee previously) 38-35 in a shootout.

Northwestern defeated UNLV 30-14.

But then the Big Ten got all squirrelly.

Michigan State made a field goal, had it wiped off the board for too many men on the field, and then missed the second attempt to lose to Arizona State 10-7.  Dantonio’s face ( the I have an infected hemorrhoid expression) never changed.

The Illini lost to Eastern Michigan 34-31, while the Terrapins were upsot by Temple 20-17.  Maryland had been ranked #21.  Not any more.

And Purdue was soundly defeated by TCU 34-13.

Now don’t get me wrong–any of those teams that lost could still beat us if we don’t get our act together.  But for now, I’ll just pass along the misery, since it loves company.

Meanwhile . . . 

In Charlottesville . . . The Cavaliers handed F$U its second loss in 3 games.

In Atlanta . . . The Rambling Wreck of Georgia Tech lost to “THE” Citadel, 27-24 in OT.

Looking Ahead:

Bye week.

Bye, bye for now.

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