Rebel Hell

Penn State lost to the Ole Miss Rebels 38-25 and the score could have been worse. 

Somewhere, over the rainbow, memories roll. And the dreams that you dream of once in another bowl.

Penn State had the opportunity to be the FIRST and ONLY school to win at least one of each of the New Year’s Six Bowls, already having wins in the Orange, Rose, Cotton, Sugar, and Fiesta.

We can try to justify the result with various explanations (excuses.) Would the defense have had a measurable difference on the outcome if Chop Robinson had played? Perhaps. But not bloody likely.

Was the defense a disappointment? It became nauseating to hear the announcers repeat um, ad nauseum, about Penn State’s number one ranked defense as Ole Miss moved the ball with seemingly reckless abandon. Would the outcome have been measurably different if Manny Diaz were still on the sidelines?

Why do our cover guys NEVER look back for the ball??????

How is that play call sharing thing working out on offense? It reminds me of the era when Jay Paterno and Galen Hall shared play calling duties. I always pictured them up there in the booth playing rock-paper-scissors to determine who got to call the next play!

Yet, despite the feeling that we were offensively inept, we somehow managed to rack up 510 yards! Only 30 fewer than Ole Miss! How is that even possible?

The explanation though is hidden behind these stats. At the half, PSU trailed Ole Miss by only 3 points. And, we would get the ball first in the third quarter. 

But something happened at half time. 

All of our offensive drives in the THIRD QUARTER were three and outs. We managed FOURTEEN YARDS of offense on three 3-play drives.

They flashed a stat up: Penn State has outscored opponents something like 115-3 in the third quarter this season. NOT TODAY. We laid a goose egg on the scoreboard, while giving up 11 points to the Rebels in the third quarter. Our best quarter offensively (yardage, not scoring) was the FOURTH. About 200 of our 510 yards were in the final chapter, and a significant amount in “garbage time,” when the Ole Miss knew they had the game in hand.

Worse yet, our defense spent most of the third quarter on the field due to the quick 3-and-outs. It is very hard in this day and age to win games with defense alone. Modern offenses are too varied. Athletes are too talented. You need to be able to move the ball at least a little bit to give your defense a breather, and to help flip field position. We failed miserably in the third quarter. 

It also didn’t help that we badly lost the turn-over battle, having a fumble and an INT while failing to force a turn-over that could survive booth replays–the alleged INT early in the game and the sack fumble but no his arm was going forward (because the rest of his body was being driven backward) were both reversed in the Rebel’s favor. And they should have been. I’m just turning sour grapes into whine. And I do believe it is in our Penn State Fan’s Handbook that we must complain about the officiating. Section 34, Article VII.

We got fooled by a trick play.

We allowed the Rebels to convert ALL THREE of their FOURTH DOWN attempts.

We didn’t complete a pass to a wide receiver until the FOURTH QUARTER!

And just what was up with the timeouts before the end of the first half????? That had to be the LONGEST SEVEN SECONDS–meaningless seconds–in the history of the game!

Coaches don’t make fumbles or throw interceptions. They can’t not jump off side or prevent a penalty. But when it appears that your opponent plays well after the half–and you don’t—that to me is COACHING.

And it’s not like we haven’t been down this yellow brick road before. James Franklin is cementing his reputation as the coach that can recruit, but then can’t win the big game. No. Cement isn’t the right word. STAINLESS STEEL. TITANIUM. He rules choke jobs with an IRON fist.

Is there hope?

Maybe.

New offensive and defensive coordinators will be on the sidelines next year.

12 team play-off next year. Maybe? Will the “new” Big Ten schedule help or hurt us?

To be honest, I am almost absolutely convinced we will be #13 at the end of next season. That is who we are. We are . . . what we are.

This past week, one of the PSU groups I joined on Facebook was counting down to the Peach Bowl with moments from past bowl games.

Greg Garrity’s catch in the Sugar Bowl–National Championship!

Pete Giftopoulos’s interception of Vinny Testaverde in the Fiesta Bowl–National Championship!

Gary Brown’s steal-n-score in the Holiday Bowl.

Ki-Jana Carter’s 83 yard touchdown run on the first offensive play of the Rose Bowl.

What will you remember about this bowl? What do you remember about last year’s bowl? Any Bowl in the Franklin Era? I remember we lost to USC in the Rose Bowl because we celebrated too early and let a victory slip away needlessly. That’s like recalling the goal line stand against Bama in the Sugar Bowl. It’s one of those moments you’d rather NOT remember.

Saquon Barkley had many highlight reel runs and touchdowns. Do you recall ONE in particular? Can you associate it with a signature win?

The most memorable play in the James Franklin era is probably the blocked field goal, scoop and score by Grant Haley against the Buckeyes–and is likely memorable since that is the ONLY time we have beaten Ohio State under James Franklin.

As the sand in Dorothy’s hourglass continues to fall, so does the separation of time from those great memories in Penn State history.

I, for one, would like to add a few new memories to those shining moments that are dimming with the passage of time. Hopefully, before I dim with the passage of time.

Vaya Con Diaz

In Spanish, vaya con dios basically translates into go with God. Godspeed. May God be with you. (I don’t speak Spanish–but I can Google.)

Good bye Manny Diaz, the brightest star to shine at Penn State in the post-Paterno era, at least as far as coaching staff is concerned. Prove me wrong.

We all KNEW this was coming.

While I wish him well at Duke, I am very saddened at our loss.

Of course, most of my life as a fan was under Joe Paterno–and a staff that rarely changed. And we used to complain about it! Now we miss it! Are we never satisfied?

I can’t get no satisfaction. Especially as I age.

Who will attempt to replace him? Time will tell. Next man up!

Peaches, Jayhawked, and Seminoles Chopped

EVERYTHING’S COMING UP PEACHES

Peachy Paterno? I do love a good peach. I’ll have to find a gallon of Peachy Paterno to celebrate this game!

And a Leinenkugle’s Juicy Peach Beer!

HISTORICAL. Not hysterical.

Penn State has never been to the Peach Bowl. It is the only New Year’s Six Bowl that Penn State has not won. A win would make Penn State the ONLY team in college football history to have at least one win in each of those prestigious bowls. We will assume there is prestige in going to this one. At least it’s not the Pop Tart Bowl.

And it’s better than another trip to Detroit.

The Lions (of Mount Nittany, not Detroit) apparently opened as a 2.5 point favorite over the Ole Miss Rebels, once represented by Colonel Reb, then by Black Bear Reb, and now by Tony the Landshark. Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive. Or so quoth Sir Walter Scott.

They apparently have a “Hotty Toddy” tradition in Oxford, MS. You can read more about it here. If you are bored, or need help falling asleep.

“‘Hotty Toddy’ has no real meaning, but it means everything in Oxford. For students, fans and alumni, it is a greeting, cheer and secret handshake all rolled into one. ‘Hotty Toddy’ is the spirit of Ole Miss.” He’s spot on, as the cheer embodies the spirit of the school.”

I am a Hotty Toddy when I have a fever.

Penn State and Ole Miss have similar resumés. Ole Miss is 10-2, like you know who, and their two losses are to Alabama and Georgia–who are both ranked in the top 10. Alabama won 24-10, while Georgia took the Rebels out behind the woodshed in a 52-17 lop-sided game. We all know who PSU lost to so no need to pick at those scabs anymore.

PSU is ranked 10th on all three polls, while Ole Miss nailed down all three 11th place spots behind us. Get behind me, Satan!

If I am so motivated, I will look into this match-up in more detail, but don’t hold your breath–unless you want to pass out. Then, by all means, TURN BLUE.

I DON’T THINK WE’RE IN KANSAS ANYMORE

Penn State has hired a new offensive coordinator! Some dude named Andy Kotelnicki. From Kansas.

Is this a good hire for PSU? A great hire? Or meh. Only time will tell.

Truth be told, I don’t know much about him. You can read a long list of superlatives on the GoPSUsports site. Apparently the Jayhawks have been pretty good on offense under his command, so the hope is that that success will translate into offensive production at Penn State.

But it was not so long ago we thought the same thing about Mike Yurcich. He had impressive offenses at Oklahoma State and Texas before coming to Penn State. And now he is gone.

My concern is this: does offensive production/success in the Big 12 translate well into the Big Ten? The Big 12 conference has long been characterized for high scoring games and NO DEFENSE. Maybe Yurcich couldn’t out coach the traditional Big Ten power defenses week in and week out.

Or maybe James Franklin handcuffed him to game plans that were doomed to fail. The world may never know.

I am hoping that Andy changes the current mantra: Penn State is where offensive coordinators come to die. Nota Bene: Joe Moorehead might have been the exception and he was the only one to leave of his own accord, and not shown the door.

SEMINOLES CHOPPED

Florida State did not get a rose from the Selection Committee.

While I am not surprised . . . I am in awe of the blatant greed and favoritism demonstrated by the committee.

There is no FAIR system. If we have 12 teams in the playoff, the teams ranked 13-16 are going to be unhappy. In March Madness, the team at #65 feels snubbed and just as deserving as the other 64 teams.

Penn State has had undefeated seasons in 1968, 1969, 1973 and 1994–all of which were not “National Championship” seasons. We even had President Nixon pick Texas over us. So I feel their pain.

What about LIBERTY????? Give me Liberty or Give me . . . . Texas? Alabama?

I just pray that when we expand to 12 teams in the play-offs next year that Penn State isn’t ranked 13th. You know it’s going to happen. Mark it down!

No Motown Letdown

As I geared up to discuss the upcoming Peach Bowl, I realized I never recapped the PSU-Michigan State game played at Ford Field on Black Friday.

Penn State won 42-0. What more is there to say?????

It was a dominating defensive performance, undercut by a slow starting offense (PSU led by a mere 13 points at the half) that ultimately rolled better in the second half.

But enough of that. Let’s head to the next blog article whereupon we will discuss Peaches, Kotelnicki, and the snubbing of Florida State . . . .

(I bet you are just tingling with anticipation! Actually, you’ve probably been sitting at your computer too long and you need to get up and move around. Get some circulation going. You can resolve to exercise at times other than January 2-January 9. )

Beau Go At Beaver Stadium

Too bad it wasn’t a BOGO on beer.

But it was enough to secure a win over the pesky Scarlet Knights of Piscataway. Penn State fell behind 0-3 early, but surged back to take a 10-6 lead into the half. Nail biter? I don’t have any left. I had to chew on a strangers nails today. Did you know that that is frowned upon in that establishment? The Lions followed the tried and true formula we use against non-top 10 opponents: start slow, keep it close at the half, and then pull away late in the game to cover the spread. Penn State ultimately prevailed 27-6.

It’s only been a week since Yurcich was canned, but there was no visible change in the offense. That is NOT a good thing.

Our offensive coordinator by committee did not impress me much. Shania wasn’t impressed either.

Inside the Rutgers 5, we go for it on fourth down. Pribula up the middle (same EXACT play that failed on third and and two.) No receivers out in the pattern. No threat of a pass play. I’m not criticizing the call to go for it (although the score was still 10-6 at that point,) but I find the choice of plays baffling. Inept? Stupid? Help me out here.

Pribula threw only one pass–a nine yard toss to the tight end. Is he not allowed to pass????

Say something nice: the running game gained yards. (But Beau was the leading rusher for the team and he and Allar accounted for 99 of the 234 yards.)

On the defensive side of the ball, what can you say? The Scarlet Knights were shut out in the second half. They recovered two of three fumbles and added an INT. Penn State fumbled twice and lost one.

Rutgers has not scored a touchdown in Beaver Stadium since they joined the Big Ten (that’s five games.) The last time the Knights crossed the goal line in Beaver stadium was 1994! Penn State leads the all-time series 32-2 and currently rides a 17 game win streak.

And Good Lord, Almighty, HOW MANY INJURY TIMEOUTS DID RUTGERS HAVE????????? That HAD to be a record. I wish I had recorded the game so I could go back and count them.

I will miss this view . . .

This very well could be my last game in person at Beaver Stadium. Well, at least as a season ticket holder. I attended the game and tailgated alone today. I don’t have a lot of friends, but most of them already have tickets or work the game. The others have no interest, or actual lives with things to do. The only game I had people to use all 8 tickets was UMass–and we ended up not going due to inclement wet weather. I don’t sell my seats because I don’t want to have visiting fans sitting next to me. My physical health with post-COVID or Long COVID continues to spiral downward. It’s exhausting for me. After the game, I took a nap in the back of my car before heading home. There was the added benefit that the idiots directing traffic wouldn’t force me to go down Park Avenue to Atherton–I’d rather shoot myself. If you wait an hour, you can turn right onto Park Avenue and then left onto Fox Hollow Road and go through Toftrees. Sad that you have to wait an hour to save an hour of bumper to bumper stand still traffic. Apparently the offensive coordinator is also in charge of traffic patterns.

Unless my health improves, I will likely not renew my seats next year. We’ll have to wait and see about the blog here.

The Spot and view of the stadium I have had for 30 years . . .

Next Up: The Spartans of Michigan State.

The game will be played on BLACK FRIDAY at Ford Field in Detroit.

The Spartans are 4-7 on the year with wins over Nebraska, Indiana, Central Michigan and Richmond.

The Lions will likely be favored, but the status of Drew Allar may affect the spread.

We Shit Again

On the BIG NOON FOX football stage of college football, Penn State went down to Michigan 24-15 in a flurry of bad passes, one fumble, and poor coaching decisions that are becoming the dubious hallmark of Penn State football. The Groundhog Day allusions are becoming trite and sad. We are like a broken record, that, just when you are about to get to the good part of the song, it skips back to the beginning, starting all over again, with the promise that someday you will hear that glorious refrain.

I should have known that the day would not end well, as a plane flew overhead earlier with a banner advertising Surfside Iced Tea with Vodka–“founded by PSU alum.”

Not sure this would be my drink of choice on a chilly, gray, November day in Central PA. But I’m not sure there is an ideal “drink” to make this any better. Stronger is probably better here. Forget the Lite Beer. Invite Jim Beam to your tailgate.

This was a winnable game. And we can point fingers until we run out of fingers and it won’t change the outcome.

I was actually surprised to see how close the stats really were. It seemed like our defense was always on the field, yet time of possession varied by only 7 minutes. We actually had two more first downs than the Wolverines (17-15.)

The one turn-over in the game was probably the TURNING POINT. The Point of No Return. The bridge is crossed so stand and watch it burn . . . The failed fourth down attempt in the fourth was likely just as huge of not more so, but that scenario was set-up by this fumble that Michigan turned into 7 points.

Rushing stats were incredibly close: Michigan averaged 4.9 yards per rush while we averaged 4.7. The KEY stat here is the number of attempts. They ran the ball 46 times while we stayed on the ground for only 35 plays.

We outgained the wolverines in the air–74 yards to 60. But again, it is the hidden stat that makes all the difference in the world. J.J. McCarthy went 7-8 for 60 yards! ONLY EIGHT PASSES IN THE GAME! Drew Allar, on the other side of the ball, was 11-23 on the day. They averaged 7.5 yards per pass, while we averaged 3.2.

And even with the turn-over, over thrown passes and incompletions, Penn State was only down 8 points with 4:21 left on the clock and a couple of time outs in our pocket. Fourth and six. You punt the ball as deep as you can, use your times outs, and hope your D gets the stop or a turn-over, right? RIGHT?!?!?

Enter James Franklin. Master of snatching defeat from victory. Able to fire offensive coordinators with a dismissive wave of his arm.

After an absolutely horribly executed 4th down pass play, we gave the Wolverines the ball on our own 30 yard line. One play later–they are in the end zone. Blake Corum shot out of the shot gun like a, well, a shot gun shot. Whatever. Game. Set. Match.

Just some thoughts here. Random. Squirrely. Take it with a grain of salt or some grain alcohol.

Our offense looked discombobulated at times. Most of the time. Passes thrown that weren’t even close to the receiver. Now we knew that Michigan had allegedly stolen signs. Harbaugh was suspended from the game because of this. (I think maybe we should have suspended Franklin too–we might have had a chance then.) Did we try to rewrite the playbook signs and it confused us more than them? I’m just drawing at straws here.

Along the same lines, Michigan rolled over opponents in the regular season last year. Opponents they knew they would play and could prepare for (by stealing signs ahead of time for.) But when they played TCU–they weren’t prepared (no time to steal signs). TCU wasn’t that good as evidenced by the Championship game. Just a thought.

At least we have Rutgers to rebound against. Not sure who will calling plays now that Yurcich has been axed/sacrificed. But the oddsmakers have us about 20 point favorites.

Shell Shocked

Penn State travelled to College Park, Maryland, the home of the only state flag designed by Pablo Picasso, to take on the Terrapins. The Lions prevailed 51-15 in what was a return to the pre-Ohio State Penn State team. Slow start. Close at the half. And then pull away like Secretariat in the second half.

Picasso with his lesser known work, Marylandia.

The line was only 8 1/2 points and Penn State covered that in the first half.

Both of Maryland’s scoring drives–one in the second quarter and one in the fourth, were both kept alive by penalties. I’m not going to belabor the point since neither score had any impact on this game. We did indeed hit the kicker. Was it running into or roughing? He didn’t even fall down from the hit. Could it have been ruled running into the kicker? Who knows? I don’t understand why this isn’t a reviewable call like targeting. And the pass interference call in the second half was simply indefensible. Invisible even. Bad call. Bad, bad call.

But Penn State overcame these setbacks with a mixture of superb run defense (MINUS 49 yards for the twerps), a stellar performance by Drew Allar, 25 of 34 for 240 yards and FOUR touchdowns, and FOUR turnovers!

Even the TERPS fans were confused, spelling out STREP, which prompted the announcers to quip, “if you’re into diseases, this is the place to be.” And his fellow commentator tried to diagram how they needed to re-order themselves, noting that it was like a Penn State pressure play that confused them. And then, “Does anyone have a throat culture?”

Penn State controlled time of possession 37 minutes to 23, and converted all three fourth down attempts.

An unsportsmanlike conduct penalty also forced us to kick off from the twenty. The kick went out of bounds allowing Maryland to start at their 50-yard line. Its a different football world than when Joe Paterno coached, but Theo Johnson would have been in the proverbial doghouse back in the day. It reflects poorly on the team and the coaching. Again, it ultimately had no effect on the final outcome of this game, but it is a symptom of poor discipline that could cost a team a really big game. Like maybe the one next week???

INTANGIBLES:

Penn State won the toss and deferred.

The crowd was reported at 51,802.

Maryland chose to go with GOLD uniforms–they actually have four school colors: Black, Red, White and Gold. It didn’t help. Nothing could help.

Penn State now leads the all-time series 43-3-1.

CHEERS & JEERS:

To K-State . . . cheers for going for the win against Texas. Jeers for failing to do so.

To Clemson . . .cheers for putting the nail in the coffin burying Notre Dame’s playoff hopes if there were any left.

To Oklahoma State . . . cheers for knocking off the Sooners. Thanks for playing. You can follow Notre Dame on the way out away from the playoff.

As of this typing, the jury is still out on USC v Washington, and Alabama v LSU. But I’d cheer for Husky and Tide losses.

THE BIG (TEN) PICTURE:

Not a final, but the Wolverines are rolling over Purdue 34-6. The Buckeyes had little difficulty getting past the Birthplace of College Football (Rutgers.) OSU won that match-up 35-16.

Indiana bounced back to beat Da Badgers 20-14. Michigan State found a way to get its interim coach his first win, beating the Cornhuskers 20-17. The Illini edged the Gophers 27-26. And Iowa survived a scare in Evanston, beating NW 10-7.

LOOKING AHEAD:

FOX BIG NOON KICKOFF at Beaver Stadium. Me-cheat-again will come in already knowing our signals and ready to advance their conquering heroes into the play-off picture. Can Penn State upset the wolverines?

As I was watching the game at Champs today, a couple of Michigan fans walked past our table. The guy waited for the girl to go to the bathroom, but he looked like he was studying our game on TV. I think he was a SPY! He was stealing our signals! I’m sure of it. She was probably in a stall communicating with the home office back in Ann Arbor.

But I have heard rumors that James Franklin is not going to be out maneuvered by Signal-Gate. He has come up with a plan of his own . . .

WHAT??????? WAS THAT?????????????????????

Or more specifically:

I’m a couple days late and about 22 points short of figuring out this 33-24 near catastrophe. Seriously. I understand there are a lot of extraneous factors. Chop Robinson was out. Our team just came off an emotional, and –and let’s be brutally honest here–a LOUSY offensive performance against the Buckeyes, that dropped us to #10 in both polls. Noon start. Full moon? Cloudy day? Help me out here! What excuse am I missing?????

Was it the fact that I forgot to change my porch light back from Halloween orange to Penn State blue?

COULD IT REALLY BE THAT SIMPLE?

How do you explain this crap???

The Hoosiers are barely a football team. They are 2-6 (0-5) on this season with absolutely earth shaking victories over Indiana State (remember the Sycamores?) 41-7, and Akron–a 29-27 win that went into FOUR OVERTIMES.

Digest that. I’ll give you a minute. If, that is you stop reading now for a minute to think about that. I can’t force you to do that. But it really increases the impact of this “win” on our collective psyche if you put it into the proper context. Stop reading this blog completely and it might do wonders for your psyche!

We almost lost to a team that almost lost to Akron in 4 overtimes. They have not beaten an opponent anywhere near the top half of the college football world this season. We were over 30 point favorites depending on who you asked, and apparently we were not asking the right people.

Our defense was, and the key word here is WAS, the most dominating defense in the country entering week 9, according to CBSsports–and the actual statistics. And I quote: “No. 10 Penn State has the most dominant defense in the country entering Week 9. The Nittany Lions have allowed the fewest total yards (1,527), yards per game (218.1) and yards per play (3.67) in the country over their 6-1 start.”

We gave up almost or more than 218 yards in the first half! Most of that on two pass plays! Fool us once–shame on you. Fool us twice–shame on us!

The Hoosiers had more offensive yards than PSU! By only 7, but you get the point. They were running up yardage against a top defense while we were barely keeping up against . . . the Indiana defense.

From https://www.teamrankings.com

Carefully check those numbers. You won’t find a statistical ranking by the IU offense or defense better than #73 in the country. And we were tied with them with only three minutes left in that game!!!!!!!

I was at the game so I thankfully missed all the UPSET alerts as the former players from other foes now announcing to make a living drooled over the thought of Penn State losing. My stomach was on UPSET alert most of the game. I mentioned in an earlier post that although we struggled in some of our early games in the first half, I never FELT like we were going to lose. On this day, I was sure we WERE going to LOSE. But we did not.

We celebrated Military Appreciation Day by almost losing to Indiana??? That would be like the US almost losing to France! And Joe (James Franklin) Biden would be crowing over the victory. “I’m just proud of the guys. So obviously we’ve got some things that we got to get cleaned up and corrected. But moving forward you know, we’ve got to get back to stacking days, stacking wins and learn from the last few weeks’ experiences.” Of course, Biden’s speech would be mumbled and unintelligible but you get the idea. And he’d trip walking away from the podium.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m GLAD we won. There is a growing contingent of fans joining the FIRE FRANKLIN club and some of those folks thinks that a few more losses might hasten his departure in some manner or fashion. I do think coaching is a problem–especially the loss to the Buckeyes, and not just this one but pick any OSU game in the last decade–but as a devout fan, I cannot in good conscience root against my team. And these young players don’t deserve that. Or the boos that rained down on the field amid some raindrops and dropped passes last Saturday. (Although the loudest boo was when Franklin appeared on the Jumbotron. It was even louder than the boos that welcomed the Hoosiers onto the field.) But, I digress.

Franklin fooled me. Again. He is a great recruiter. He could probably sell sand to someone living in the desert. But when prepping for big games and actually making coaching decisions, the smoke and mirrors is no longer enough. I thought we turned the corner after soundly defeating Utah in the Rose Bowl. I thought we finally had the best possible quarterback. I thought we had finally recruited and portal transferred enough talent to play with the elite. And again, I was wrong.

It’s me. Hi! I’m the problem it’s me.

And if you are one that insists on looking for a blue and white lining in all this–we did actually win. Scoreboard. Wasn’t pretty. Ugly doesn’t do it justice. But we did make a couple plays when the chips were down and the game was on the line. A 57-yard pass and tiptoe down the sideline for a touchdown to KeAndre Lambert-Smith to take the lead, and then a defensive strip sack and chase the ball out of the back of the end zone for a safety. Are you kidding me?!?!? Couldn’t we fall on the ball in the end zone for 6 points????

We survived the on-sides kick to kneel out the win.

We moved up one notch on both polls to #9, thanks not to us, but to Kansas for beating the Sooners. They tore down the goal post after the game. Remember when we used to do shit like that back in the 80’s? Not today though. It is frowned upon in this establishment!

What was with the Indiana pooch kicks? And why oh why are we fair catching the ball at the 25 yard line where we would get it anyway? Run with it dammit. Gain some yards. Put forth an effort. Spark the team. But don’t fumble! Save more money with Geico! Avoid mayhem like me! I don’t know. I’m just so damn discombobulated by this whole fiasco I wouldn’t know where to begin to fix it, even if I was a seasoned head coach.

But fix it fast, we must.

Maryland is no push-over. Yes, they lost to Northwestern this past weekend. But they were 5-0 with an offense scoring 30+ points per game against the likes of Towson, Charlotte, and Michigan State. By the way they handled Indiana effortlessly 44-17. But that was before they played the Buckeyes. And they played them hard for three quarters before losing in the fourth. Does that sound like any other team we know? Helloooo? McFly?

But we did bounce back with a win. Although it was more like a stumble and reel around but not fall win. But still a win, whereas the turtles lost to Illinois and Northwestern–teams we managed to beat.

And then . . . I don’t want to look ahead. Really. But I think. No. I’m not going to look. but I WANT to look. I can’t help myself. I need therapy. WE PLAY MICHIGAN IN TWO WEEKS.

There. I said it. It’s out there. I can’t take it back. Well, I could have before I published this, but since you are now reading it, it is un-take-back-able. Probably is a better word for that but screw it. It is what it is.

FAN NOTES OF NOTE:

The Drum Major stuck both flips. The 28th Division Infantry Band joined the Blue Band at Halftime.

We won the coin toss and deferred.

The seats sold number was 107,209. Student section never filled. Upper South deck and Club Seats were sparsely populated. The energy level was lower than Delaware. The loss to Ohio State was a blow to Nittany Nation.

Two EC-130J Commando Solos from the 193rd Special Operations Wing of the Air National Guard in Middletown, Pennsylvania flew over Beaver Stadium.

Silly me. I took a video of it to post here. Alas, my FREE WordPress site does not allow me to upload my own videos. You don’t pay me anything to come here. I ain’t paying anything to put something here. But I can usually link from YouTube. Unfortunately, I was in YouTube jail for posting a clip of Achmed asking “how far from Iowa are we?” This is apparently frowned upon by Jeff Dunham who turned me into the Tube Police. Screw you! That was funny! Anyway, they wanted me to go to copyright school. Yeah, like I’m going to do that. But for some reason, I was able to finally upload it. I must be on parole. Or time served and good behavior.

The Pope was at the game. I think he blessed us. Maybe he got me out of Youtube Jail. A couple people have asked me if we can schedule an audience with him on November 11. I’ll see what I can do. Maybe Franklin could kiss his . . . . ring.

And finally, perhaps another sign, there was a rainbow over Beaver Stadium at the end of the game, as God promised not to smite us again. So we have that going for us.

GO STATE! BEAT TERPS!

Buckeye Day

Penn State and James Franklin have forged a Bill Murray Groundhog Day nightmare for Penn State football fans. No matter what we try, where we play it, or who we recruit, we end up back in the same place EVERY time.

It’s de ja blue all over again.

If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results, then I am clinically insane. And I fear I am not alone.

It’s not like we didn’t see this coming. It’s not like it is unexpected. After all, the powers that be had already ordained that the Buckeyes be ranked ahead of us. The Vegas gambling conglomerates had already picked the Buckeyes to win. Franklin was 1-8 coming into this game. Is 1-9 any surprise?????

I almost skipped blogging about this game. What else is there to say? It is what it is and we are what we are.

But then, unfortunately for you now having to read this–and according to this scientist, Robert Sapolsky, there is no free will so you were destined to read this far anyway and I have digressed–I changed my mind (either freely or as a result of neuronal interactions beyond my control.)

Why?

Because this blog has never been about just recapping a football game. You can watch ESPN for that crap if you want. This blog is about being a fan. I present to you a fan’s view. I am not a coach. I never played football. Or any sports. I walked around a football field carrying a clarinet back in school–I was the Milli Vanilli of clarinetists in my day. I dream of writing novels, starring in movies and regaling an audience with stand-up comedy, while this introverted nerd has no more chance of doing that than I had of playing Barnum & Bailey’s favorite on the clarinet without squeaking. I am the phantom of the opera, hiding behind a Penn State mask, a loathsome gargoyle, burning in Hell, while secretly yearning for Heaven. For beauty.

And when the team I love loses, it becomes cathartic to share my pain and try in some convoluted fashion to justify that suffering. Sometimes, it’s an exorcism of my demons.

I am very emotionally invested in Penn State football. I cannot explain this to you very well. I first became addicted with the first home game I attended in Beaver Stadium in 1982. Section SK, Row 55. Seat 19. Versus Nebraska. The atmosphere was electrifying. The sheer power and energy of the WE ARE! followed by the PENN STATE! was intoxicating. I had never been part of something so extraordinary. Watching this weekly spectacle spoke to me on some deep level that I cannot explain physiologically or psychologically. To this day, I still get goosebumps from the Blue Band entrance. Things were simpler back then–slightly smaller stadium, no gimmicky white outs, and very little piped in music. I don’t remember any back then, but my mind is fading. But we won some big games. Not all of them. But a lot. We won championships. Not little Big Ten trophies but real national championships, or at least as real as they were back when President Nixon could anoint a Champion, or a bunch of drunk sportswriters.

And then there was the man. Joe Paterno. Prowling the sidelines, like a lion himself stalking prey on the savannah in Africa. He was and still is to these tired old eyes, bigger than life.

I am still hooked to this day. Inextricably. It defies comprehension. To say that Penn State is my life is an understatement. I have, in truth, led my life around Penn State football. All three of my children were born in the spring or early summer–not by chance but by planning. My wife–now ex-wife for reasons you might see more clearly as I explain this–knew that I would not be there at their birth if Penn State was playing. I missed family weddings, reunions, and various other functions to attend EVERY game. I was perfect up until around 2015 or so. I missed an Indiana game due to serious illness. But I never missed a Joe Paterno coached home game from 1994 (when I first got season tickets of my own.) I tried to share my passion with my children, but alas, they have remained immune from my disease. Perhaps they learned from my mistakes.

Dedication? Obsession? Fine line between those two, I fear.

The point is, when Penn State loses–I suffer.

I slammed my front door so hard when Michigan defeated us in 2005 that I splintered the frame. Normally, after a Penn State loss, I lower my PSU flag to half mast. This past Saturday I just snapped the damned pole off. To hell with it.

Sunday morning, the sun poked itself out now and then around the clouds. The sky was still blue and white. I am still alive.

And we still lost again to Ohio State.

I could dwell on the coaching decisions. Fourth down at midfield in a close game? Really, James? Sometimes that would be a good call, regardless of outcome. If you have momentum. If your team is moving the ball and controlling the line of scrimmage. We had none of those things. Could we have used Pribula to mix things up? By the fourth quarter is was pretty clear to most of us watching the game that Allar was rattled and simply not “on”. A switch would at least make it look like you were trying to win. His ability to run would have added another dimension to the offense that needed at least one dimension. It certainly couldn’t have hurt.

I could dwell on the referee holding call. We could debate whether it was defensive holding or not. It technically was. But I submit to you that that kind of contact happens almost every play–and usually goes uncalled unless it is egregious. It was not. In the spirit of the rules, it could impede a player to the extent that he can’t get open, or throw off the timing of a pass. The problem here is that there was no pass. The QB had no time or would ever have been able to pass–even if Harrison were uncovered and wide open. And the flag was late–thrown only after Penn State recovered and returned the ball. If the ref thought it was flag worthy when he saw it, why did it take him so long to throw it?

And then the unsportsmanlike or roughing penalty after the whistle blew. Dude flopped. In hockey he would have been in the sin bin for that bush league crap. Totally bogus.

Still . . . we could have played better. But the momentum was shifted. The feng shui of the game was forever changed. The straw broke the camel’s back. The bridge was crossed leaving us to stand and watch it burn.

And now the Blue & White fans are left . . . dejected, disgusted, frustrated, angry and inconsolable. Probably another hundred adjectives–insert your own. A part of us has been ripped away and we are not the same because of it.

They played their hearts out. We cheered our hearts out. And at the end of the day, for whatever reasons, it just wasn’t enough.

Undercover Michigan Spies stealing signals at the Ohio State-Penn State Game

Ohio Stadium

Quote by Obi Wan Kenobi in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope

Lyrics by Rodney Atkins